Feeling lonely

It’s important to explore what makes us lonely and what situations intensify those feelings. Sometimes our instinct is to conclude that we’re lonely because we’re unlikable, unappreciated or simply unwanted. Don’t be so hard on yourself and instead look inside. Often, the reality is that we create walls, obstacles or situations that contribute to feeling lonely. So dig deeper. Are there any controllable aspects of your life that are making you feel lonely?

When we’re lonely, it’s easy to succumb to unhelpful blanket statements like, “I’m unlovable.” But if we start examining what’s really going on inside, we’ll make important discoveries about the situations that trigger loneliness. Maybe it’s after spending a lot of time scrolling through social media or hanging out with certain friends. The more you understand about what contributes to your loneliness, the more you can change routines or interactions to help lessen negative feelings.

As you identify what makes you feel more alone, it’s also important to explore the parts of your life that make you feel more connected. Does talking to a certain friend or family member make you feel less lonely? Does taking a group exercise class or volunteering make you feel more like you belong? When we identify the people and things that add value to our lives, we can focus our energies on feeling better.